15. Simon Cowell
The last person to give British men this bad of a reputation was king Henry VIII. He has broken more dreams than John Goodman has broken chairs. Cowell's reputation as a sourpuss has secured him the number 15 spot on our biggest douche list. He created the phenomenon that is known as the british prick, and he is doing a bloody good job at it.
We would make fun of Ken Lay being raped in prison... but we believe his gold parachute is melting in hell. Not only is the Enron cluster fuck one of the most talked about issues of the past decade, but Ken Lay is the man behind the scenes. He lost millions and put many out of work... Good Job... douche.
We would make fun of Ken Lay being raped in prison... but we believe his gold parachute is melting in hell. Not only is the Enron cluster fuck one of the most talked about issues of the past decade, but Ken Lay is the man behind the scenes. He lost millions and put many out of work... Good Job... douche.
13. Barry Bonds
Just google his name... He is a douche.
The poster boy of the steroid era of baseball, Barry Bonds lands at our number 13 spot. As you can tell by our accurate picture, human growth hormone does bad things to your body, but good things for your slugging record. Hank Aaron is rolling over in his non-existing grave.
12. Kanye West
Not only is Mr. West a self-proclaimed new king of pop after Michael "Boy toucher" died, he had the courage to steal the microphone from a modest T-swift. There is a certain place in hell for this size douche. Yo Kanye, I'm gonna let you finish your career, having said that, you will always like fish sticks.
11. Sarah Palin
Not only is Mr. West a self-proclaimed new king of pop after Michael "Boy toucher" died, he had the courage to steal the microphone from a modest T-swift. There is a certain place in hell for this size douche. Yo Kanye, I'm gonna let you finish your career, having said that, you will always like fish sticks.11. Sarah Palin
This so called "maverick" couldn't even finish her term as Governor... Instead she wrote one of the best selling books of all time... oh wait I think obama memoir still sold more that week. Palin is the epitome of what the stereotypical red-neck idiot american is. But hey she looks hot in this picture. The end question is... "Who is nailin' Palin?"
10. Bernard MadoffJust google his name... He is a douche.9. Michael Moore
8. Fred Phelps
This 80 year old leader of the Westboro Baptist Church and professional fuck-face is famous for his godhatesfags.com website. Check it out. Not shitting you. I'll bet "fags" aren't real fond of you either, douche-nozzle. Cowboy fag.
Is there any world leader that looks more like an old lesbian? I think not. Starve your people to death, sure, but have nice designer sunglasses? Dolce and Gabbana bitch. Herro Prease, the world's opinion is knocking and you sir, are number 6 on the List of Douche. He has constantly tried to reach nuclear capabilities, as well as terrorizing South Korea and Japan. Also, he is the leader of the second most oppressive regime in the world, after Mormonism, of course.
He is just so fucking special... that he always has to be on the left. Moore is outspoken, obnoxious and even annoying to people who agree with his views. It takes a certain kind of douche to make everyone hate you. But yet critics love him... I suppose they are douches too? The douche conspiracy begins.
8. Fred Phelps
This 80 year old leader of the Westboro Baptist Church and professional fuck-face is famous for his godhatesfags.com website. Check it out. Not shitting you. I'll bet "fags" aren't real fond of you either, douche-nozzle. Cowboy fag.7. Rush Limbaugh
Do you need this explained? Look at that picture. He LOOKS like a giant burlap sack of douchery. What did Freud say about cigars? The "voice" of the right-wing douche-legions has had more problems with drugs than Courtney Love...which isn't entirely fair to Courtney, if you'd caused the death of Kurt Cobain, I'll bet you'd be coked out too. Go make fun of Parkinson's again, prick.
6. Kim Jong-Il
Is there any world leader that looks more like an old lesbian? I think not. Starve your people to death, sure, but have nice designer sunglasses? Dolce and Gabbana bitch. Herro Prease, the world's opinion is knocking and you sir, are number 6 on the List of Douche. He has constantly tried to reach nuclear capabilities, as well as terrorizing South Korea and Japan. Also, he is the leader of the second most oppressive regime in the world, after Mormonism, of course.5. Saddam Hussein
Another infamous dictator, he attacked Israel, started a war with Iran that cost hundreds of thousands of lives, gassed Kurdistan and invaded Kuwait. That was even before the 21st Century. But did you see him with a beard? What a douche look.
4. Osama bin Laden
How's cave life going, bud? Not only is this douche-asaurus the mastermind behind 9/11, forever giving politicians a day to rally behind, but he looks terrible in home movies. The video quality was inferior to the "One Night in Paris". Believe me, I know.
Great Satan?!? You sir, are the Great douche. How does it feel? He denies the Holocaust, oppresses his people and perhaps worst of all, refuses to wear ties. That's just rude. You look like a jerk at formal affairs.
How's cave life going, bud? Not only is this douche-asaurus the mastermind behind 9/11, forever giving politicians a day to rally behind, but he looks terrible in home movies. The video quality was inferior to the "One Night in Paris". Believe me, I know.
3. Mahmoud Ahmahugedoucheijad
Great Satan?!? You sir, are the Great douche. How does it feel? He denies the Holocaust, oppresses his people and perhaps worst of all, refuses to wear ties. That's just rude. You look like a jerk at formal affairs.
2. Natural Disasters
Hurricane Katrina, the heat wave in France, the Indonesian tsunami, Californian wildfires, the earthquake in Iran, who hasn't been fucked by sweet mother nature? That dirty bitch.
1. George W. Bush
This money-driven, oil-loving, cowboy couldn't even figure out where the real war was supposed to be. Thanks for that trillion dollar deficit, and huge tax-breaks to giant corporations, you put us in this fucking recession. You fucked us, you made America lose international credibility. Thanks for the laughs George, but you sir, are still the #1 douche on our list. congrats.
Written by: Jonny Cantrell, Ryan Murray, and Ben Stokes.
